This is my obituary,Obituary of a Free Spirit. Other people are supposed to write your Obit,(if you are worth a mention) but I wanted my obituary to be real, and a story of my journey as a human. No 4 lines allowed by newspapers can tell you a story of any person and his struggles and success. Hence iam writing this, fully realizing that my life is not worth a mention, iam no superstar, no actor, not a leader not even a teacher and there will be hardly any readers to this blog.
To begin, let me tell you this is the end of my third life in terms of growing up, and iam reborn in to a fourth life with a fresh set of thought. So there are three obituaries and latest will appear first.
Sameer Muley, The Man with Self respect
23 March 2009 – 16 Feb 2018
Sameer Muley a resident of Nagpur died today at Delhi. He was 46. He suffered a mental trauma on 16th realizing that the support system which he was sure of, collapsed on that day. Alone and helpless he tried to seek help at every possible corner, and was denied help by almost everyone. His heart & Soul died that day. He succumbed to the ruthless rules of business where human life meant nothing. With him died a belief system of goodness, commitment, Selflessness, Honesty, Loyalty and Respect for Greed, Money, Opportunism and selfishness.
He was suffering from a mental disorder which took away his control over his anger and doing things on impulse. He was reckless, a powerful man who could rule sky with his fist. Absolutely cunning and mean. He was living through this disease since his teenage years and finally was able to regain his life and career battling this disease. He could change his life with great effort to a polite, Humble, forgiving, human being. The day he was at the peak of this positive change in his life, his own clan of business disowned him for a few greens, unable to take it he died.
In this life sameer did the best with his Life, family and job. He could give up on the cunningness, vengeance, and practiced forgiveness, which brought calm to his excessively happening mind. During this period he could finally accept to take meditation for his BPD and asked for help to manage his psychiatric issues to deal with his own mind.
His hardwork paid off and he could hold on to a job for 9 years in a row, less controversy, work focused approach and a steady life at home. He travelled across india and struggled very hard to make both ends meet. He also stood firmly with his family when they needed his support. A good man, A good father, a good son, and a good employee is what he will be fondly remembered as.
During the end he went through a series of medical emergencies and emerged as a winner. He financed his sons education on his own with emi payments of his home. He took responsibility of his past and always kept it in mind that he was at a fault.
Unfortunately, his demise doesn’t change anything and doesnot affect a single life, because world doesn’t carry baggage of Alcoholics, Borderline people and people who have a past & who have touched lives of people the wrong way.
Sameer Muley – The recovering Alcoholic
12 th Jan 1999 – 22 March 2009
Sameer Muley Chose not to drink on 12 th jan 1999, with Him died the Alcoholic who was a bulldozer crushing everything which came his way. 12 th jan did not come this easy, 11 th jan we lost a final cricket match of 1 st season of Interpress cricket tournament in nagpur. We partied that Night and drinks were flowing like a flooded river.
Sameer was odd man out as far as cricket is concerned, but still he was part of the team. This was an amazing experience for him where people welcomed him and treated him as a part of the team even if he couldn’t play or throw a ball. He got respect and was part of family. This leadership and cultivation was new. In a world which he belonged what could not be used was thrown in garbage. Here he was not garbage. He meant something to team, and treated as a part of team inspite of no use to team. Sameer used to hang around just because he had nothing else to do. In an effort to make new friends he made it to practice ground regularly. The captain saw decipline, and commitment to the team in it, and I made it to team as 12th man.
Those 15-20 days changed sameer and the old old died to be reborn as the new as he realized not everyone is mean and people go beyond perceptions to achieve common goals with people. That thing clicked. People really touched his life and gave him faith, trust, confidence in abundance. Sanjay Singh, Ajay Thakur, Zaheer, Pravin and a couple of nameless teammates is all he carried to his next life.
The next 10 years were the toughest years of my life. Choosing to be good and meaning that is difficult. But with ups and down sameer Survived one day at a time. Made a life, Faced his fears, lived to honor his commitments, and lived to take responsibilities and lived each day making amends and asking for forgiveness for all the bad he had done to others and himself.
Sameer Muley – The Alcoholic
1 June 1971 – 12 Jan 1999
Sameer Muley a young talented engineer died today at the age of 28 due to excessive usage of Alcohol, Violance and drugs. He leaves behind his mother. He & his wife had separated due to his violent alcoholic nature.
First 15 years of his life were very simple, with his mother , lot of books and eutopia. All that he wanted was to marry a girl from my class, and even asked her once. Alas, it was too early for that kind of thing for a 14 year old boy.
We were poor and this rejection hit me hard, and he turned in to a rebel doing things which were unimaginable. From a human he turned in to a rebel and slowly turned in to a demon who hardly had any touch with reality and real people. Failure and downfall was inevitable.
With all this attitude he married his longtime classmate and girlfriend from engineering, just to get separated from her.
Had near death experiences in accidents, Bar brawls, street fights and lived those days with least regards for life. Today with precious years of sameers life being wasted like dirt, his life was turned in to dirt. Came a day, when he walked the streets of Nagpur without footwear and no place to live, no food to eat and no one to turn to.
Somewhere inside sameer had realized that if this goes on he will die in next couple of months, so he tried to get help. One thing lead to other and miracle happened. People who nowhere related to sameer gave him a job, ensured that he stays away from drinking and taught him ways of normal living.
Professional help from doctor helped him manage his Anger & violence. Eventually a job came up and he took it without any hesitation. Rest is history. Within next 8 months the Alcoholic died and a new sameer moved on in to a new life with pride & honour.
Note: few references have been added and modified to make this a reading story.
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